


The Avengers Do Sometimes Get Nights Off

by TheoMiller



Series: something bigger [16]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Movie Night, Avengers Tower, Bonding, Card Games, Crack, Friendship, Ladies' Night, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6096430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheoMiller/pseuds/TheoMiller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three entirely unrelated bonding moments between Avengers, or Avengers and allies, or Avengers and allies and not-quite-allies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Avengers Do Sometimes Get Nights Off

Natasha settled into the plush couch between a somewhat nervous-looking Skye and Maria Hill. Sif had pulled up a bar chair and was braiding Skye’s hair into intricate plaits. Pepper, who was curled up in a plush arm chair with her legs tucked up beside her and sipping sweet blueberry wine from a gigantic glass, had painted May’s nails and. Jane and Jemma were playing chess while Darcy bullshitted her way through commentary.

“So, I’ve been trying to figure out what it is we all have in common,” Natasha said.

Jane frowned. “Do we have anything in common? Besides, y’know.”

“Indoor plumbing?” said Darcy.

“It’s Phil Coulson,” Natasha continued, ignoring them. “We all know Coulson. I feel like we need to invite that cellist, she seemed nice. Aubree? Audrey? Something like that.”

“I’m still a bit confused, if Director Coulson’s dating Haw—uh, Clint—how did he end up falling in love with her?” asked Jemma.

Pepper answered that. “Clint’s got some commitment issues, so Phil spent a long time wondering if he would ever have an even remotely normal relationship. And she was normal, the sort who wanted to settle down and get married when she met the right person. I think… I think maybe he was more interested in having a slice of normal with a wonderful person than actually in love with her.”

“Is that what happened with you and Tony?” Skye asked, and then blushed when she realized what she’d said.

“No, it’s—it’s more that I wanted this perfect fairytale where I got the rugged hero, and he wanted to stop using strangers for a hazy night of pleasure. He’s my best friend, but… I want dinner dates and nights on the town, ones where I’m not always playing hostess to paparazzi and billionaires. And Tony wants someone who knows what he’s going through. I wonder… maybe if I’d kept my powers, if I’d told him not to blow up the suits, if I became a comrade as well as a friend and CEO and girlfriend and babysitter, if we might’ve worked out.”

“Is it your wish to be a shield-sister to Tony?” said Sif.

“No,” Pepper said, “I don’t think it is.”

The Asgardian nodded. “Then perhaps it will do you well to seek what it is you do wish for, rather than dwelling on what might have been,” she said, and finished the plait with a gold tie.

Skye picked up a hand-mirror and examined her hair. “I look like Sansa Stark or something,” she said.

“Ooh, can you do a chignon? I wanna see May in a chignon,” Darcy said.

“I can,” said Pepper, when Sif looked politely confused. “Maria, how do you feel about milkmaid braids?”

“That, I can do,” Sif rejoined.

Maria shrugged, and Natasha glanced at Darcy. “It’s been a while since I helped anyone else with their hair, but if you bring me a flatiron, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Sure thing!” Darcy chirped.

Jemma took one of Jane’s pawns. “Miss Potts…” she said. “Do you think it’s a bad idea to date your best friend at all?”

“Well,” said Pepper, and then paused. “It’s Pepper, first of all. I don’t get much girl time, since I spend all of my free time with Tony, but I’d like the think the eight of us can be friends. And, well, I think it depends. You have to want similar things.”

“You and Fitz are so cute,” Skye said. “ _I_ wanna be in a cute relationship,” she added mournfully, and Natasha patted her on the head.

“Ward,” said Natasha, gesturing towards May and Skye with a crystal tumbler, “is a no-good, entitled son-of-a-bitch, just like Garrett.”

“I don’t know how anyone could betray Phil,” said Pepper.

“He was under orders,” murmured Skye.

“Orders are to be followed with discretion,” Natasha said disdainfully. “And I would never betray Coulson. For starters, it’s a good way to wind up dead.”

“Or worse,” Jemma said. Her usually cheery face had gone stormy at the mention of Ward.

Nat reached over to ruffle the scientist’s hair, which was down and already pretty messed up due to a bout of wrestling Jane over the remote. “I’ll teach you a few of the things we talked about, so you can make sure no-one hurts your other half anymore,” Natasha said.

“And we can distract Leo with science,” Jane said happily.

Jemma half-smiled.

“I propose a toast,” Maria said, and lifted her glass of wine as high as she could without disturbing Sif’s braiding. “Fuck Hydra!”

“Fuck Hydra,” everyone echoed, reaching for their drinks.

-

Bruce spent about ten minutes watching the Avengers move around the common area, brushing deliberately against each other but never staying, before he sighed and walked up to the couch. Steve and Clint and Thor were all spaced apart, and he steeled himself. "Thor, can you move over?"

"Certainly," Thor replied, and moved further away from Clint, who shifted away when Bruce tapped his knee.

"Do you want me to move?" Asked Steve, but he didn't move.

"Stay," Bruce said. "Clint, magnificent as your arms are, do they really need six inch clearance between you and Cap?"

The archer looked at him. Whatever he found in Bruce's face, it was enough, because he slid sideways. Bruce thanked him and settled into the open space. Thor draped his arm across the back of the couch, and Bruce could hear him scratching the base of Clint's neck, and Clint humming happily.

"Oh, are we cuddling now?" Sam said. "What got you guys to stop being macho and touch starved?"

"Bruce," Steve said.

Sam held out a hand for a high five, and Bruce didn't leave him hanging. "Do you want me to call Tony and Bucky and Natasha in, have a movie night?" He continued.

"Sure," Bruce said.

He glanced at the ceiling. "JARVIS?"

"I've already notified them," the AI replied. "Sir has told me to tell you he says 'fuck yeah'. Agent Romanoff and Sergeant Barnes are going to shower before they come, and she requests you pop a bowl of popcorn and cue up The Princess Bride."

"Oh, yes!" Clint said loudly. "Love that woman. Excellent taste."

"What's that about?" Steve asked.

And then everyone but Thor was quoting the grandfather’s description of it, loudly and overlapping, and Steve laughed. “Forget I asked.”

Clint shifted up to perch on the back of the couch, and Natasha sat against his legs and nudged Bruce when she wanted popcorn, and Tony squeezed in between Steve and the edge of the couch, which prompted Bucky to sit on the arm, and there was a great deal of jostling and laughing when Sam returned with Tony’s stash of chocolate caramel popcorn to mix in with the movie theatre style popcorn, because there wasn’t any room no matter how much they tried to move in even closer, and Thor heartily insisted that Sam sit on the arm beside him, and everyone settled in to watch.

Steve beamed and kissed Bucky when the Man in Black was revealed to be Wesley (only Steve hadn’t figured it out before it happened, and Tony cackled and teased him mercilessly about it until Bucky and Steve shut him up), murmuring that _end of the line_ was their _as you wish_. They’d decided that Buttercup tormenting Wesley on the farm had been pure Tony, and Natasha insisted she was Inigo and Clint was Fezzik, and that sparked off a round of arguing about who got to be Miracle Max’s wife (Sam, it was obviously Sam), and then Thor was determined to be the King and that made Bruce Miracle Max, sorry, but he shrugged and said that his magical cure was the Other Guy’s roar, and Tony punched the air and declared that he was dead Wesley too.

And then Clint insisted on following it up with _Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail_ , because none of them wanted to move.

If Pepper had any questions after finding all nine of Earth’s mightiest heroes passed out on a couch together, she didn’t voice them, just roused Tony for his meeting and turned on the coffeemaker for the rest of them.

-

"Three sevens," said Natasha.

Loki's gaze flickered down to his hand, and then towards Tony. Tony jerked his chin to one side, and she narrowed her eyes, one sharp flutter of her lashes. "Saw that, Stark."

"Saw what?" Tony said innocently.

"Nuh-uh," Darcy said, "Stark and Loki have to pay dues for table talk. Drink!"

Tony and Loki both poured themselves a shot – Loki tried to switch the one of Asgardian booze with Tony's scotch, but Tony just gave him a _really, did you really think I missed that?_ sort of look and drank the right one.

"Is that a penalty?" asked Skye.

Loki smirked. "Nothing in the rules."

"Upheld," said Sigyn. "We didn't provide for poor sportsmanship about drinking one's dues in the rules."

Sam was still studying Natasha's face, clearly trying to figure out whether she was lying.

"Call," said May.

Natasha flipped over the three cards – not a single one was a seven.

Sam groaned. "Knew I should've called."

"Ooh, _brazen_ ," Darcy said. "So, point to May, Romanoff collects the discard pile."

Sigyn marked a point in May's column. "Loki's trying to read your mind, Miss Coulson."

"Ha, suck it," said Skye, to Loki. "I get a penalty shot, right?"

"Only if Stark gets a penalty shot for having Jarvis tell him what's in Wilson's hand last turn," Loki said coolly.

"Oh, you mean like how Lewis is using the reflection off of Loki's necklace to see his cards?" Tony challenged.

"I—don't have anyone to throw under the bus," said Darcy, "dammit! All right, Loki gets a penalty shot on me, Sam gets a penalty shot on Tony, and Skye gets a penalty shot on Loki. Sigyn, what's the ruling, is it what occurred first or what was called first?"

"Called first, and everyone who saw cheating and didn't report it takes a drink."

Tony and Loki poured drinks, and after a second, Natasha did too. "I caught all of that," she admitted.

"Shame on you," said Skye. "So I get to take a penalty shot on Loki, but if I do too much, he can retaliate on Darce?"

"That's right," Sam said.

Darcy lifted a finger. "Uh, point of clarification, he can't, like, kill me, summon an army of aliens on me, none of that?"

"That would be a disproportionate for your crime," said Loki.

"Loki," Skye said, "you… uhm… Shit, what's a good penalty?"

"Something that would totally bug him. Like having to call Thor and ask about his day, or eating a cute cupcake from the depths of pinterest, or making out with Tony."

Tony's head jerked up. "Can _I_ object?"

"Flattering," said Loki.

"You tried to mind control me."

"You made a dick joke."

("Who the hell taught him the phrase 'dick joke'?" asked Skye.)

"You _threw me out of my own house_."

"I was trying to have a proper battle for your planet, the sort men tremble to recall, and you made _a dick joke_."

"You can object," said Sigyn.

"Oh, good," Tony said.

"But," she continued, and he muttered _fuck_ under his breath, "Mister Wilson could, in theory, use his penalty shot to overrule your objection."

"I won't do that to you," said Skye. Then, before Tony could thank her, she said, "You should use your penalty shot for something besides dealing with Tony being a spoilsport—"

"I don't want to make out with the homicidal maniac, and suddenly I'm a spoilsport."

"—so, Loki, your penalty is… sparring with Natasha."

"You sure know how to treat a girl," Natasha said, fluttering her lashes at Skye. "C'mon, liesmith, let's spar."

Sam waited a half second before he said, "My money's on Natasha."

"No way," said Darcy. "She's good, but he's a god."

"Easy money," crowed Tony.

Sigyn was already devising the rules. "Bet a number of cards, less than the total cards in your hand. If you are correct, you can discard those. If you are wrong, you get that number added to your hand from these discards."

(Loki forfeited.)


End file.
